Saturday, May 29, 2010

The Day Our Lives Changed ForEVER

I don't remember the exact date, I just know it was a Tuesday. I sat in the courtyard next to Coldstones smoking my cigarette and I thought to myself, This is going to be my last smoke. I'm pregnant.

Ok hold on, I'm jumping ahead a little bit. About two weeks before that, I started being nauseated all day long. My appetite dropped, my energy dropped, and I just felt nauseous all the time, like a fuzziness in my tummy. I didn't think anything of it, really, maybe I was working too much or staying up too late too frequently.  Pregnancy never even crossed my mind. We never used protection, but Dominick was sterile due to having 2 separate strains of the Chicken Pox at the same time when he was in his mid 20's. We had been together for a year and never once were we concerned about getting pregnant.

So I went about my day to day life, complaining once in a while about not feeling well. Once a month we would take a weekend and stay at a hotel somewhere, just to get away and relax, that month we stayed in Ventura, on the beach. We got up on Saturday and headed out to get some breakfast (at noon-ish) and I could not eat a single bite I was so nauseated. I remember making a comment about going to see the doctor about it because it had been about two weeks of it and I was getting worried that I may have an ulcer or something. Dominick was the one who suggested I take a pregnancy test first.

I laughed at him.

Then I thought about it. It couldn't hurt, right?? If anything when I DID go see the doctor I could tell him that I knew I was pregnant, just one less test for them to worry about.

It took us a few days to get the test, I don't remember why, busy with life and work, I assume. 

{I just have to say here, I couldn't drive because I had gotten in a car accident the year fourth......and I lost my license and my car was totaled....I was very reckless as a teen. Just wanted to set up an idea of what kind of lifestyle I was living at the time}

I waited for him outside of Coldstone's, smoking and telling myself that it was the last time I would smoke because I was pregnant. I just knew. At that moment, for some reason, despite being so sure that I wasn't just hours before as I got ready for Dom to pick me up, I knew.

Dom came and we went to pick a test. We got the one that said PREGNANT or NOT PREGNANT just so there were no mistakes. When we got to the apartment I went straight to the bathroom. I read the instructions. They clearly said to wait two minutes for results. I peed, grabbed the cap, and as I was placing the stick back on the counter, the word showed up.


I am not going to write down the expletives that went through my head at that very moment, because there were several, and they were all very vibrant. Let's just say I had no idea what else to think.

How is this possible?
What is Dom going to say?
What are my parents going to say?
How am I going to tell my parents?
Do I have to tell my parents?
My parents are going to kill me.
How do I tell Dom?
He's going to wonder what's taking me so long...
wait, it said two minutes, I've only been in here for one.....I have time....

All of this went through my head practically at the same time, I thought I was going to explode.

Finally I opened the door and showed Dominick. He reacted pretty much the same way I did.

Oh crap.

We both just stood and stared at the wall for a moment. Then he said ok.

That was it. "ok". That's all that was said about it for the next couple of hours. I called and made an appointment to get a blood test done to check my hormone levels so we could get an idea of how far along I was. It turned out I was 8 weeks.

We went through some fights at first, we were both scared and had no idea how to handle it, or what to do next. I told my parents (well, actually my mom guessed that Friday, the day we got the blood test back) and neither one of them killed me. We all worked it out.

God had a plan, and if you ever need an example of how far off our plans usually are from God's, just read this story.

I was 19 years old, not married to this man nearly 17 years older than me, living a life out of control and full of sin, and of all things, God used a baby to smack us both in the face. If it weren't for getting pregnant with Theren, who knows what would have happened to me or to Dom. Who knows if I would have ever stepped back onto God's path and back into His arms. Who knows if Dom would ever have been able to find the peace in his heart that he has now through God.

God has a plan, and it very rarely runs along side our own, but oh how I thank Him that it doesn't.

post signature

1 comment:

  1. The turning points that we never anticipate. And what would we do without our Theren???